Writer's Arse

I am developing Writer's Arse.This unfortunate condition is caused by sitting around all day in my p.j/s writing, instead of having a real job which burns calories. I am busy writing my new blockbuster set on the Gold Coast, with hookers and cocaine, rock-stars and bikies, murder and mayhem. 'The Glitter Strip' promises readers a roller-coaster ride of grotesque violence, hardcore sex and designer costumes....

But while I am writing about hot chicks in high couture, I find I am slipping into a soggy pile of flesh, gorging myself on Tim-Tams and so much caffeine that my eyeballs are doing somersaults (the only part of me getting a workout).

I will start tomorrow. A make-over. I must find a way to write and move. Strangely, I find that when my brain is fully engaged, my body is unmotivated and when I get my body pumping, my brain shuts down and is unable to process more than counting to ten. So I think I'll exercise  in the mornings and then switch to more cerebral pursuits in the afternoon. My brain is feistier in the mornings though....and I'm usually ready for a  siesta in the afternoon. What a quandary.

Perhaps I could have one day of exercise followed by a day of writing.

Perhaps I should stop writing about exercising and just do it. Just go for a walk.

No. It's raining.

I'm going to have a nap and do neither.

I said I'd start tomorrow and I really will.


  1. Writer's Arse seems to blow the Hemmingway & Bukowski vision of a writer, hard alcohol, sleepless nights of unstoppable writing, blurting out creativity with endless passion and enthusiam. But the reality is choc coated scotch fingers dipped in coffee and an expanding Writer's Arse!

  2. Ahhh yes...BUT..when the muse is singing..there can be long hard drinking nights full of colourful words....those are the nights I like best....


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