I have toyed with the idea of being a vegan for a couple of years now. As I'm approaching that midlife crisis known as fifty (a number that has recently become synonymous with sexy!!) I have decided that the creaking bones, the odd discomforts that stab me and the grumpy old bitch attitude, might be best tackled by foregoing the animal fats, booze and slothful existence in favour of super-foods, meditation and exercise.
For periods of time I have been an Atkins advocate, living on meat, eggs, fish and cream; a Paleo eater, meats, fish and veggies; a strict macrobiotic...lots of seaweed and vegetarian, vegan, completely raw and pig. But I have been reading widely about the Western pandemic of cancer, heart disease and diabetes and I have been inspired by friends who are vegan and look great. I am also developing a conscience about animals. Me! Who would have thought? But most of all I have lost family members to bowel cancer, leukemia, and various other horrible things and have decided that I want to hang around to see my children grow up.
Basically, I am sick of feeling like shit every single day of my life. I wake up like an old woman. I am overweight. Hormonal and hateful. I drink too much. I eat too much. I don't exercise enough and I don't look after myself much at all. I nag everyone in the house to 'do more', 'work harder', 'be disciplined' but while I'm pointing the finger at them, there are three pointing back at me.
Ghandi said - 'Be the change you want to see in the world.'
So it starts with me.
My research shows that a vegetarian diet can significantly reduce the likelihood of getting those awful diseases. I know that dairy aggravates my gut. Wheat and gluten make me bloat. So I am going to do the vegan thing...but without bread and pasta.
I will have fresh vegetable and fruit juices for brekkie. A big salad with the lot for lunch and steamed or roasted veggies for dinner. Maybe some nice soups. I will do a Tracy Anderson workout (torture hour) every day, except Sundays. Sundays will be a family sabbath. I'm not one for organised religion and believe in people not Gods. I have been taking my family for granted and will devote Sunday to getting to know them all again.
I will find time to meditate and start pampering myself a little. I'll start by shaving my legs.
Today I look terrible. Bags under eyes. Prominent lines on my face and dry skin. Greasy hair. Bloated. Crampy and my toenail is falling off. I've just googled cancer symptoms and I'm still in bed at 10.00 a.m.
I've told the kids to be quiet about a hundred times.
It's July. By Christmas I want to be a spectacular version of me.
I'll just finish this coffee and then I'll get up and have a shower, washing off the old me. I'll brush the carnivore off my fangs and go and buy a box of organic fruit and veg.
The animals of the world will thank me. I am vegan. Hear me roar!!!!