The literary hooker.

I've just had this totally brilliant idea. I'm going to take up prostitution!! I like sex. I'm good at it and I've had heaps of practice. There isn't much I haven't or wouldn't do. So why not make a quick buck out of it? I just told my husband and he almost had a stroke and choked on his hash brown, spluttering, 'What the hell???'

Of course, once he'd calmed down, I explained that I didn't actually mean hauling my ass out onto the street to turn tricks for random, sweaty, perverts. I'm forty-six with a gut that looks like wrinkled dough and tits that sway like tired bloated pendulums. My knees are crumbling. The doctor told me the condition is colloquially known Clergyman's Knee due to the fact that it is common in people who kneel a lot. That makes sense because as a rock and roll groupie I certainly did get to kneel a lot!! Worshiping my idols, shall I say? But these days vigorous bed-play may result in a knee fracture or the dislocation of a hip....so no...I do not plan to make my body available for random pleasures for strangers, BUT......

I am a writer and the current almost nauseating trend toward erotic fiction...has made a sudden light-bulb explode in my brain. PERSONALIZED erotic fiction. I will spin dirty tales for cash. My plan is to set up a website ...maybe called Fifty Shades of You. For ...say..fifty odd dollars you get your own personalized fantasy starring YOU and whoever else you would care to bonk. 2000 words of erotica. It might be your husband (great birthday gift) or your favorite celeb. Imagine a personalized romp with Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt or both at the same time. You give me the details...names and fantasies, setting and some background description and I'll write you up a stormy scene as hot and horny as you want it.

Brilliant! I'll be a literary hooker.

I think it's an inspired idea but my husband isn't convinced yet.

Oh..there is the possibility that this might attract some serious weirdos. Hey ...but that could also be hilarious.  I will state at the outset that I won't take on anything that involves children or animals (perhaps with the exception of a unicorn).

 I'm  off now to seriously think about this. That Fifty Shades of Grey series has opened the flood-gates and I'm shameless enough to want to grab my surfboard and catch the wave.

Oh, shit! I just googled 'personalized erotic tales' and there are other sits doing this. Are there no more original ideas left! Damn!


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