My Bucket List

Once upon a time, as a teenage girl, I kept a list in my underwear drawer. It was a list of rockstars I wanted to molest. There was Peter Frampton, Sting, James Reyne, Michael Hutchence, Simon le Bon, Steve Kilbey, Ian Moss, David Lee Roth, Jim Kerr, Nick Cave, Rick Springfield, David Bowie and of course Rod Stewart. I even managed to cross a couple off the list.....

But now as I notice more grey hair and begin to think about hormone replacement therapy, I am writing a bucket list. That is, the list of things I want to do before I die....I got to thinking about this as I heard that Nora Ephron had died, because she was one lady I really wanted to meet and now I never will. When I was young I had a premonition that I would die at the age of 57. Goddamn, that's only eleven years away and I think I need a few more years than that to get the whole bucket list ticked off.


Here we go.

1. Win an Academy Award. (that is not negotiable.)
2. Die before my children and husband (though not any time soon)
3. Sail on Loch Ness
4. Renew marriage vows in Vegas dressed as a showgirl with Zeus done up as Elvis.
5. Have breakfast at Tiffany's in New York.
6. Buy a brownstone in Brooklyn.
7. Swim in a cage with great white sharks.
8. Lose ten kilos.
9. Learn to speak Spanish.
10. Have a New York Times bestseller.

That's for starters. I am a chronic list-maker and my actual bucket list has over three hundred goals. The above are just the top ten. The main events.

Today's list is less challenging.

1. Walk to chemist and buy a kid's birthday present for party this afternoon.
2. Buy rice.
3. Track down the errant teenager who hasn't been seen for three days.
4. Write an article about something.
5. Weed the front yard.
6. Wash my hair.
7. Ring my big boys in Sydney.
8. Go to a party.
9. Try not to embarrass myself.
10. Get everyone home intact.


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