Just like every messed up woman, I've read The Secret, watched 'What the Bleep' and fallen for Tony (Banana Fingers) Robbins. We like to believe that with just a little focus and positive thinking we can have anything and everything we want. The real secret is of course that there is no magical secret. Life and fate are pretty random and bad luck is just as real as good luck and the bottom line is that most of it really does fall back on luck. I was born to a middle class family on the Gold Coast with not too many character flaws. I was loved and protected. No abuse except self abuse. I was averagely attractive with a high level of intelligence but little common sense. I had some talent in acting and writing. I met a nice boy, fell in love and had children and fell out of love. No major dramas there that couldn't be solved with time. Had more loves, more children. Floated through life with nothing terribly bad happening but nothing terribly magnificent either. All in all it was a middle of the road life that I've had.
But I am a melting pot of passion and frustration. I always want more than I have. I am always looking for the next gig, the next big thing, the next adventure and most of all I have always had my sights set on winning an Academy Award. Nuts? Yes, I have been called that more often than I can remember.
But...those damn self-help gurus owe me something. I've bought their books and read them in good faith. They filled their coffers with the likes of my hard-earned cash and the millions of dollars from unfulfilled souls seeking that ever-elusive 'something more.'
I have decided that I will take them at their word and test all the theories ...which basically boil down to the one golden rule - if you can perceive and believe then you can achieve - anything!!! Except perhaps physical immortality or the ability to become invisible or fly or turn straw into gold.
So - either - there really is something to all this oomie goomie nonsense or half the world is made up of gullible, trusting fools. I suspect the latter. But like any good researcher - I can't completely dispel the theory of the law of attraction without putting it to the test. By doing it publicly I can step back and objectively analyse my various successes and failures on my journey.
So - Mr Tony Robbins, Rhonda whatsername and the pantheon of Californian-sounding gurus, I will do everything you say. Everything. I will become a visionary of my future. I will meditate. Eat well. Exercise. Treat everybody beautifully. I will visualise and focus my thoughts on the good that I want and not focus on the daily stresses of living an incredibly stressful life of mediocrity. And you Mr Universe - will deliver me an Academy Award. If I drop dead and don't have one - I hearby call you all charlatans and will post-humously press charges against you for fraud and misrepresentation. If I do win and Academy Award though- I will thank you profusely from the stage.
I'm 46. Live in suburban Brisbane. Have five children who are very time consuming. I work from home as a writer. I did once want to be an actor and still would like to jump back into that one day. I don't look like a Hollywood Star, I don't have a show-reel anymore because a pet ate it about ten years ago. I have no idea how to go about this but I don't have to think about it, do I? I just have to put it out there and focus on it all the time - the end result - the thank-you speech and the power of attraction will do the rest.....yeah...okay...bring it on. But I must believe so I must stop sounding so cynical.........
It's August 6th, 2012. I've spent my life living pretty hard so I doubt I've got more than thirty or forty years left . I'm never going to get the lifetime achievement award because to date I haven't done anything worthy of note by Oscar. But...hey, let's do a Tony Robbins and set a date. 'Begin with the end in mind', said the late Stephen Covey - so -
I will have an Oscar on my mantelpiece by 2022. I'll be 66. I was born in 66. There's some synchronicity there..........Operation Oscar begins today.....
I just re-read this post and have decided that the isolation from working from home is affecting me and I have gone just a little bit insane. Whatever!